You Might Be A Swimmer If...

1. Your hair has a greenish tint and looks like straw 2. Whenever you hear an electronic beep, you have a natural urge to leap out and up 3. You have rings around your eyes that cause you to resemble a raccoon 4. You have been wearing the same "comfortable practice outfit" for 2 weeks 5. Spaghetti and meat balls for lunch makes you groan because you're used to having it practically every night at pasta dinners 6. Waking up at 5 a.m. to exercise seems the natural thing to do 7. Jamming a piece of Styrofoam between your legs after tying your feet together with a rubber object is not a kinky sexual activity 8. Your skin is constantly flaky, wrinkled, and reeks of chlorine 9. You've tried at least a million moisturizers, body sprays, and "swimmer's shampoos" and still nothing works 10. You sport long, curling hair on your legs and don't find it the least bit abnormal 11. The phrase "This set with fins" is better than hearing "You just won $1000" 12. You respond to the question: "When was the last time you took a shower?" with "I swim, I don't need to take showers" 13. You know how to squirt water between your teeth 15 different ways 14. You wake up for early morning practice just to get donuts or bagels 15. You go through so many caps in one season you could wallpaper your room 16. A friend asks how a certain guy dresses and you reply, "I don't know, I only see him without his clothes on" 17. Your friends automatically know you can never do anything on Friday nights 18. You go from store to store desperately trying to find your favorite sports drink, power bar, or goggles - and think it's the end of the world when you can't 19. Own at least 50 different shirts, water bottles, key chains, or other souveniers from meets you've gone to 20. The first place you go when you're stressed out is a swimming pool 21. You think Edward Moses is one of THE hottest guys on the planet 22. You think the "hottest trends" right now are those little swimming shorts with Nike swishes on the butt or Adidas stripes down the side and thin strapped suits 23. You have a swim suit so torn up that it looks like it has been fed to a school of sharks 24. You have an inhaler in every color of the rainbow 25. The word, "25's" makes you happier than anything 26. You are determined, strong, smart and tough 27. The pool is now called your second home and are in the pool more than you have time to yourself 28. Seeing guys in speedos doesn't seem that big of a deal to you 29. You're in your bathing suit more than you are in regular clothes 30. You are tall, skinny, buff or have a small chest 31. You have permanent bruises on your shins 32. You own more than 10 bathing suits and the rack behind your door is filled with suits of all kinds 33. You have severe shoulder pain from too much butterfly, too much kicking, or just too much swimming! 34. Icing every single body part each night seems completely normal to you 35. You have a flat, washboard-tummy 36. You own waterproof mascara 37. Your friends don't even call you anymore because they know that you have no time to do anything 38. You'd feel better wearing a bathing suit to school rather than clothes 39. Your nightmares are of your coach and that smile that you know means trouble 40. Your Saturday schedule looks like this: - wake up - eat - swim - swim - swim - sleep - eat - eat - sleep 41. You consider your coaches and teammates part of the family 42. The sound of water soothes you 43. You have severe suit hickey's from your bathing suit and are often questioned by "non-swimmers" about your late night activities 44. Eating everything in sight is natural for you 45. Deck sandals are your most comfortable pair of shoes 46. You have bulging biceps and large quadriceps 47. A calf or foot cramp sounds worse to you than getting run over by a bus 48. Running away from, begging, or annoying your coach is one of your favorite activities 49. You sweat in gym class and people start asking why it reeks of chlorine 50. You DREAD days off from school because you'll have doubles 51. The most exciting thing to happen to you in months is shaving your legs 52. Seeing girls in swimsuits does nothing for you (if you're a guy swimmer) 53. Getting smacked on the butt doesn't bother you at all 54. Your screenname has something to do with the pool 55. Adding big numbers has become amazingly easy for you 56. You accidentally call your coach Mom or Dad 57. Your bathroom looks like a swim shop has taken it over 58. You feel naked without some tight, skull crushing piece or rubber on your head 59. You suffer from severe blood loss everytime you shave because you only do it 3 times a year and are out of practice 60. Your funniest memories, most embarrassing moments, sadest times, scariest adventures, and best friends all have some connection to swimming!